Posts from September 2014

The Bastardly Evening News - Dec. 5, 2005

 late in the afternoon while still at work by 8


Mariah, minus the abs. Still slutty.

Well at least she gives her slaves vacation time. That’s a 1000x better than Naomi Campbell, right?

* Kevin Federline is the fucking man!! Living it up, baby! [DListed]

* Tommie’s slave, Katie Holmes, goes from being 3 months pregnant to not being pregnant at all!! Wow, the magic of Scientology! [A Socialite's Life]

* Howard Stern Media Blitz begins. Are you ready? [Jossip]

* Bald-headed Natalie Portman doing something a well-behaved, Jewish girl shouldn’t do. [Hollywood Tuna]

* Paulina Rubio’s nipple [Taxi Driver Movie via Hollywood Tuna's Daily Tuna]

* Perez meets Paris. Aaaaw. If only he wasn’t gay!!! He could’ve drugged up Stavie & had sex with Paris.[Perez Hilton]

* Charlize from the Aeon Flux premiere. Apparently the movie is getting horrible-horrible reviews. It was a tough act to pull off, so I’m not surprised. I’ll have to matinee it one of these weekends. [Egotastic!]

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Star Jones Gets Freaky @ Eva Pigford's Party

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 20

A small prayer goes out for Al Reynolds. I still cannot explain the love. It’s possibly Star has taken someone truly dear to Al hostage & is threatening to eat this person(s) if he doesn’t agree to have crazy amount of sex with her each night of the week. [Gag]

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Kinky Adrianne Curry Signs On With Playboy Magazine!

 in the weewizzle hours by 29

Damn Hef, as well!!

The bastard’s gonna get a taste of another amazing piece of ass! Actually, I saw a piece of last week’s Larry King interview with Hef & his blonde bitches & I gotta say, the guy tells it like it is. He appeared to be an extremely honest guy—I guess when you’re openly dating three women, there’s really no reason to lie about anything.

Anyway, some horny dude on the CNDB (Celeb Nudity Database) claims there’s info in the December Playboy that says Adrianne Curry will be in February’s issue. I’m very curious as she is super kinky & sexy (in a truly Bastardly way).

So that leaves Christopher Knight (alias: Peter Brady). Is this an attempt to cash in on his new wife or what?! He is truly a very lucky bastard as I’m sure Adrianne is a wild animal in bed. Damn you, Peter Brady, damn you!!

Sources for some of the photos:

* Yeeeah Blog
* A Socialite Life’s Life

Here’s a tribute to Adrianne Curry’s kinky hottness.

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Bastardly Poll: The Latinos Win & The Annoying People Poll

 late in the afternoon while still at work by 12

The Latinos were clearly the winners, but obviously, the poll was immensely flawed & people have sounded off quite nicely on this other post. We’ve taken the comments into consideration & have decided to do individual polls from each region of the world in an attempt to A) figure out where the hottest people live around the globe & B) help make our traveling decisions much easier.

Once the Most Annoying People Poll ends in a few weeks, I’ll start off w/ countries in the Far East & then move westward. Please make any suggestions you may have in the comments area below.

Even though the results are a bit confusing to interpret, you gotta admit, North Americans (our main demographic) love Latinos, Indians, & most ironically, the mysterious Middle Easterners.

Paris Hilton Leaked "Screwed" MP3, Song Lyrics & Musicvideo

 in the weewizzle hours by 45

Curiosity is a horrible, horrible thing, I tell you.

You’ve all downloaded her sex tape, so why not her first, “leaked” song? Don’t feel guilty.

Rumor has it that Paris will soon bring her music & on-screen presence together. Yes my friends, “Screwed” will play in the background of a heavily censored version of a music video/sex tape—which sex tape will it be, though? Unfortunately, that will be a surprise. Let’s just hope, for the sake of all the horny bastards around, the sex tape will also be leaked!! Oh, what fun!

The lyrics: Yes, some fanatical person (or someone on P. Hilton’s growing payroll) took the time to type out the lyrics of her debut song. How sweet of them.

* Download Screwed here!
* Another download link @ Rapid Share
* News about leaked tracks @ MTV

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Crazy Dennis Rodman's Book Signing @ The Hard Rock Hotel

 late in the evening by 10


Photo by Ralph Notaro/Getty Images

Dennis Rodman is desperately trying to resurrect life back into his dying career & he needs your help. One thing’s for sure, thoug, regardless of his deathly state of fame, the guy probably gets major ass b/c there are plenty of hot chicks out there who will sleep with crazy has-beens (just look at Mike Tyson & all the hot blondes who’re after him). It’s the sad reality of this world, I tell you. The same guy who once had Carmen Electra on his balls is now running around the country desperately trying to earn a buck or two…in drag.

Well, on that note, last night Dennis was @ the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida signing his new book (I Should Be Dead By Now) & judging, of all things, a bloody bikini contest! You just know the bastard probably got a few of these chicks in the sack.

Here are a few more interesting pics from the event.

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