Posts from September 2014

Zahara Jolie-Pitt & Maddox Jolie-Pitt: The Super, Mega, Power Lottery Winners

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 60


Pics come courtesy of Just Jared.

A legal petition seeking to change the names of the children to Zahara Jolie-Pitt and Maddox Jolie-Pitt was filed Friday in Los Angeles, publicist Cindy Guagenti said in a written statement to The Associated Press.

“We are confirming that Brad Pitt is in the process of becoming the adoptive father of both children,” the statement said. “No further comment is being made.” [Yahoo!]

If just having Jolie behind their names wasn’t enough, Maddox & Zahara Jolie are no more.

Enter Maddox & Zahara Jolie-Pitt.

So yes, Maddox can officially get any girl, anywhere in the worlds on the grounds that his mommy is Angelina Jolie & his new daddy is Brad Pitt. Also, going up against Preston Federline & future poker shark, Violet Afleck, Maddox will also be the coolest socialite of the group.

Can a kid get any luckier?! My God.

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Oprah vs. Star Jones - A Bastardly Annoying Contest

 early in the evening, before sex by 56

From last night’s premiere of The Color Purple in NYC.

If I had a choice of exchanging spit with one of these voluptuous beauties, I’d have to run for Oprah’s corner. Next to Star, I gotta say that Oprah’s lookin’ mighty sexy with those curls. You go girl!!

Before I close, please help me out w/ the new Annoying People Poll. It’s in the very early stages…

1. Oprah
2. Star Jones
3. Tyra Banks
4. Bill Walton
5. Bill O’Reilly
6. Geraldo
7. Sound off below!!!

Here are more photos from the premiere.

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Shawn Kemp - Forever the Reign Man!!!

 after a late four martini lunch by 5

No matter how ridiculous those Kamikazes looked I so wanted a pair!

It’s such a shame that he got all fat was traded to the Cavs by the time I came up to Seattle in ’98. But my friend found this awesome video of Kemp dunking on a bunch of chumps!!! I’m campaigning for the Shawn Kemp comeback in ’06!!!! woo hoo!!!!!

Eri Moriyama - A Bastardly Interview

 way too early in the morning by 0

Photos courtesy of Eri Moriyama

Eri Moriyama is one damn sexy woman. I know you all would expect me to say some witty one-liner but I’m speechless. She’s caught your attention touring the nation with Pepsi Street Motion at Hot Import Nights and comes to us from our favorite group of Prestigious Models. As we wait for the launch of her official website, EriNextDoor.com, be sure to check out the latest on Eri at her Myspace and Yahoo Groups!

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Mariah Carey Wins Lifetime Pop Whore Award @ The Bambis

 in the weewizzle hours by 11

Many beautiful people showed up this year to collect one cool looking award. I gotta admit, a Bambi trophy looks a little cooler than an Emmy. Just my take.

Ok, I digress. Apart from whoring her used & abused bod to various rich & powerful execs, Mariah was also in Germany for the award show. As you can see, she was dressed to impress.

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Matthew McConaughey, People's Sexiest Man Alive - For The Ladies

 early in the evening, before sex by 4

Thanks LeelzM for bringing this Ebay auction to our attention. Yes ladies, bid now for a priceless collectible of People’s “Sexiest Man Alive!”. I’m doing this one bribe-free since obviously it ain’t the typical Matthew McConaughey pics you ladies would likes to see… oh well, enjoy! Oh yeah, he’s in 9th grade here. Get those bids in!!!!

The Bastardly Evening News - Dec. 1, 2005

 late in the afternoon while still at work by 3

The caption from Yahoo:

A contestant prepares to drink six cans of beer at one time at the Great American Trailer Park Pageant in New York November 17, 2005. Contestants across the country showcased a vast array of talents for a panel of judges and talk show host Jerry Springer during the competition [REUTERS/Shannon Stapleton]

* Tara playing suckie-suckie on Paris Latsis. This is getting interesting. Michael K says, “This is a smart move for Tara. She’s basically broke as fuck and begging for jobs. He’s rich as fuck and begging for easy pussy. So it’s a win-win situation!” [DListed]

* Our prayers are answered! Kierra Knightley wants plastic surgery!! Is about time she saw the boobielight. [Egotastic!]

* Dirty old man, Aaron Spelling, suing poor nurse for $5million. Doesn’t he have enough money?! Greedy whorebag. [Glitterati]

* Fergie: Queen Butter Face. Give me a brown bag, turn off the lights & I’m game, baby!! [Hollywood Tuna]

* The Britney Spears’ Divorce Timer is only months away from sounding its alarm!! [Yeeeah!]

* Rumor has it that someone got wasted & accidentally impregnated the Hollywood’s richest horse, Tori Spelling. He was Canadian. [Perez Hilton]

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