Posts from July 2014

Damn girl, what happened?!

 early in the evening, before sex by 32

Janet has eaten herself out of being one of the sexiest women on the planet. There was once a time when Janet’s posters were on every teenage boys’ walls for wanking purposes. Those days are now over my friends. It’s been no surpise that she’s gotten so big since we all know she has that pesky “fat gene”, but as I was looking at her most recent pics of her picking up sushi (way to go with that diet, Janet), I’ve realized that she now looks almost identical to one of our favorite carpet munchers, Queen Latifah.
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The Bastardly Evening News - Jan. 26, 2006

 in the middle of the afternoon by 6

* Jennifer Love Hewitt may *finally* be revealing her true assets…to help her carreer (I want to give gold bars to whoever was able to convince her that posing naked would advance her carreer). I have been waiting FUCKING years to see this chick’s titties, dammit! It’s about damn time, too…it is unfair to go around being so damn hot and not only not having sex with me, but also not even showing some titty for me to ummm…ponder…yeah…ponder. Dude, seriously, she’s so hot I would let this chick poop on me…her crap is probably made of sterilized cottonballs anyway. [Yeeeah!]

* Posh Spice (yeah, I’m old school like that) is writing a children’s book. As she recently admitted to never having even read a book, I’m kinda astounded that she’s going to be *writing* one. It will be a heart-warming story of a little girl with no talent, good looks and an eager mouth, which she uses to make herself a place in the world. Sigh…at least Posh is close to the intelligence level of her target audience. [HollywoodTuna]

* Finally some excellence is coming to the movies. They are almost done with a Strangers With Candy movie and it should be out this summer. Life just got awesomer. In the words of Jerri blank, “If you are going to reach for a star, reach for the lowest one you can”. Words to live by. [AmySedaris]

Producers & Directors: Sexy Piper Perabo Needs Your Help!

 after a late four martini lunch by 12

God! When will money & power enter my life so I may rescue these hot women from their downward spiraling careers (in return for a couple nights of crazy lovin’, of course).

Piper looks so sad…

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Katsumi at AVN 2006 in Las Vegas

 after a late four martini lunch by 11

Katsumi

NEWS RELEASE:

2006 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo Delivered Record Growth

Major Studios Boast Strong Sales, Tremendous Fan Support

ENCINO, CALIFORNIA … The 2006 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo delivered record growth, organizers of the show announced today. With over 350 exhibiting companies that occupied nearly 300,000 square feet of exhibit space, the show has demonstrated tremendous growth after only eight years as a stand-alone event. The AVN Adult Entertainment Expo is produced by Home Entertainment Events.

WOO HOO!!!!

Eva LongWhoria Looking Whorifically Hot! Looook Out!!

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 11

Eva showed up in her Mexican Call Girl get-up to an ABC party. Tony Parker was no where to be seen…

The question is not whether Eva’s still riding the Tony Parker Express, my friends. The real issue @ hand has more to do w/ who is currently obtaining Eva’s sexual services behind Tony’s back? I’m pretty sure as long as Tony’s getting his share of the booty, he doesn’t mind sharing w/ other brothas while he’s on the road. Let’s admit it, there are very few guys out there who wouldn’t quadruple bag their shit & take a dip into the famous Playa de Eva Longoria. Mmmm. Mmmm. MHMM!

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Sexy Jessica Alba W/ Boney Teri Hatcher

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 23


Teri Hatcher is slowly fading away, my friends. Someone feed this poor woman so that her head stops looking so damn huge!!

Here’s a larger pic that includes Teri’s anorexic legs. To help make up for the sour taste left in your mouth after viewing Teri Hatcher’s ailing figure, I’ve also included a few sexy J. Alba pics. Enjoy!

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