Posts from July 2014

Bastardly Body Double - The Joker & Haylie Duff

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 9

Well, it’s been well-documented on The Bastardly how much we hate Haylie Duff. I honestly can’t recall any positive comments made towards her. Ever. Besides ruining Maxim forever, Haylie continues to be invited to parites, award shows, and fashion shows.

Anyways, it was brought to our attention of the uncanny resemblance Haylie Duff has to The Joker (of Batman fame). Big ups to Scott for taking the time to put this together…the two look so alike it most definitely is a Bastardly Body Double!!!

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Froless Penelope Cruz & Her Latest Career Move in Cannes

 in the weewizzle hours by 11

There’s not much to say about these snaps, so I won’t say anything except lay down a few kind words for that old dude in a couple of these photos. He worked hard. He earned a lot. And now he will nibble on beautiful boobies of hot women around the globe. Good for him.

Ok, enough of that. Now let’s talk weekend…

I will be partying it up in San Diego this long weekend. Actually, it’s one night in San Diego & 2 nights in LA, to be exact. I’ll be sporting the Bastardly Tee, so if you can find my sorry ass, I’ll buy you a drink (if you’re hot). If you’re planning on Drunken Memorial Day Sex, The Bastardly highly recommends you double bag your bits & pieces before taking the drunken plunge.

W/ those wise words, I wish you all a safe & happy weekend. Now, check out some pics of Penelope in Cannes.

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Bastardly Breaking News! Petra Nemcova Makes Cannes Film Festival Beautiful!

 in the weewizzle hours by 8

Recent reports courtesy of kind Bastardly Correspondents @ the Film Festival inform us that Petra actually walked—yes, using her very own feet!—to Ivana Trump’s Dinner Party held @ the deliciously serene Pangaea Soleil Beach. The report also pointed out how there was cockfest trailing her cute, little ass the entire way to the par-taay (see photos).

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Flava Flav’s #1 Whore Hoopz (aka Nikki Alexander) in June/July 2006 Black Men Mag

 in the weewizzle hours by 54

I saw random clips from the show on E!’s The Soup & I gotta say that it’s some of the dumbest stuff & some of the best stuff on television. I think it’s safe to say (correct me if I’m wrong) that TV cannot get any lower than the Flava Flav show. If, by chance, it does get any lower, then you know that society has been flushed down the toilet and there is really no hope for any of us.

Anyway, besides being a total whore & sexing up Flava Flav in order to win it all, Hoopz is pretty damn hot. I hate to say this, but Flav has taste in his bitches & is pretty much living every Horndogg dude’s fantasy (i.e. have slutty whores fight over you just because you have money). Cheers to that.

Here’s rest of the layout from June/July 2006 edition of Black Men mag. Enjoy.

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Butta Jodie Marsh Emotionally Abusing A Dog

 late in the afternoon while still at work by 10


Check out the buttaface @ Buttafaces.com >>

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- Paris Hilton Nipple Slip at Music Video Shoot
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- Katharine McPhee’s boobs crashed my server
- Unfortunate memories of Chloe Sevigny
- A National Holiday for Angelina Jolie
- Britney Spears Whines in Poetic Verse

- SIZZLER: Michelle Rodriguez Leaving Us Forever!
- New “Simple Life” is simply unwatchable
- Jennifer Love Hewitt Should Break Up…and take off her clothes.
- Tuna Cannes is over. Nibble on some Kristen Bell.

Bai Ling vs Kirsten Dunst - Bastardly Bad Teeth Matchup

 after a late four martini lunch by 39

In one corner, we have a troll. And in the other, we have a Rice Chaser‘s kinky dream come true. Aside from their obvious differences, both women have a set of some seriously fucked up teeth & as you all must already know, bad teeth (like the ones pictured) in our highly superficial Hollywood is simply unacceptable.

So yeah, w/ that in hand, who has it worse? The Asian Kinky-Sex Goddess or the Ugly Troll? Your call…

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Bastardly What Ever Happened To?… Niki Taylor

 after a late four martini lunch by 38

I recall Niki Taylor as being my first supermodel crush…I recall an episode of MTV’s House of Style where they did a feature on her and thought she was so fine… yeah, that made me a fan. Then she had some terrible accident, right? …a couple of kids and now what’s she doing?

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