Posts from July 2014

Bastardly Asks: When Will Lindsay Lohan Successfully Commit Suicide?

 after a late four martini lunch by 15


Lindsay walks into Promises Clinic for Rich Crack Whores & Alcoholics

The Pulitzer Prize winning Star Magazine (we’re up for it this year!!) writes,

She grabbed a knife and started cutting at her wrists. A friend made her stop.

Lindsay needs to go back into rehab, then spend time soul searching and getting to the roots of her problems. These emotional breakdowns she has are getting worse, and one of these days, she really will kill herself. [Star Magazine]

Was Lindsay using a butter knife?! I mean, how do you start cutting your wrists and not finish the job? Possibly, Linds was on crack @ the time & mistakenly started cutting on the wrong side?

Lindsay, email us your address & we’ll ship over a batch of Cutco Knives that you can use next time you have suicidal tendencies.

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The Bastardly Morning Report with Jennifer Lamiraqui

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 23

- Calum Best Promises To Go To Rehab Really Soon [Dlisted]

- Paris Hilton Will Get Special Treatment Anyway [Hollywood Rag]

- Jessica continues her attack on the media and her sex symbol status [POPSUGAR]

- Cool movie alert: ‘Paprika’ [Pop Candy]

- Manly Stuff That Is No Longer Manly [Double Viking]

- Get Into Guyliner [NY Daily News]

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