Posts from July 2014

BREAKING! Jessica Alba & Baby Honor Smile For The Paparazzi!

 in the middle of the afternoon by 39

Photo Credit: Karl Milan / Splash News

First off, Jessica Alba’s lookin’ awesome in her jeans & boots combo! She just needs to invest in some quality ass implants & I think she’ll be set…

Anyway, normally when the paparazzi capture a pic of Baby Honor Marie & Mommy Jessica Alba, they look like they’re heading to a funeral, but that wasn’t the case earlier this afternoon in Los Angeles.

Both mom & daughter were spotted with big smiles on their faces as they walked back to the car after grabbing lunch in Beverly Hills. You have to admit, with Jessica Alba having five projects in the works for the coming year, who wouldn’t be smiling?! That’s a shit load of money for Alba-Warren LLC.

Once again: DAMN YOU, CASH WARREN!!

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Bikini Pics: Christina Ricci & New Boyfriend Curtis Buchanan in Miami!

 in the middle of the afternoon by 27

Photo Credit: Splash News

Definitely not up to par w/ the recent flow of bikini pics coming of the Caribbean, but to Christina Ricci’s credit, she’s not an exotic Victoria’s Secret lingerie model, but an A-List Hollywood actress.

The lovebirds were spotted showing off their regrettable tats in stylish Miami Beach. After spending most of the day having sex at their ultra-lux hotel, the couple decided to take the action to the Atlantic.

As most of you guys know, Christina Ricci called off her engagement to ‘All’s Faire in Love’ co-star Benjamin Owen back in June, so major props to Curtis Buchanan for bagging Christina on the rebound. We’re pretty sure he’s more than enjoying his share of rebound sex over the past few weeks. The “Penelope” star is going through a very critical period in her life—you know, broken engagement, turning 30 in a few months, lack of new projects, etc, etc. Whatever happens in the weeks & months ahead, we only wish the best for Christina!

Photo Credit: Splash News
Photo Credit: Splash News

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More Alessandra Ambrosio: Victoria’s Secret Photoshoot in St. Barts

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 30

These were snapped yesterday in St. Barths

I know all the Ale haters are gonna say some mean things, but what can we do if a small minority of you guys can’t see the beauty before your eyes. While Alessandra Ambrosio looks great, I still think she’d add to her hotness if she added some meat onto those bones.

The Doutzen Kroes set posted earlier today is a great example of how a lil’ meat in just the right places can substantially add to an already beautiful woman’s hotness level.

On a whole different topic: If you happen to have the next week off, book a direct to St. Barts! GOD DAMN! The hotness level of this sexy Caribbean destination is off the charts!

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Today’s Megan Fox Random Un-Newsworthy Candid Photos!

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 33

A couple things to report on Megan Fox. First, she’s signed on to model Armani underwear (Posh’s old gig) and secondly, Jennifer’s Body made just over $23 million worldwide ($16 million in the US). The film cost $16 million to make.

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Doutzen Kroes: Victoria’s Secret Swimsuit Photoshoot in St. Barts

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 58

Unlike yesterday where I posted photos of Irina Sheik and said they were Emanuela de Paula (hey, that’s what the source said), I’m certain this is Doutzen Kroes. St. Barts must be a pretty hot place to visit now being that we’ve seen Alessandra Ambrosio, Marisa Miller, Miranda Kerr, and Candice Swanepoel there too.

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BREAKING!! Audrina Dropped Her Car Keys Yesterday!

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 15

These were snapped yesterday as Audrina left an office building after putting a smile on some random executive’s face.

I’m pretty sure Audrina’s agent told her to do it when she’s being followed by members of the paps. While giving her an extra few seconds in front of the paparazzi, dropping her keys also gives her an opportunity to show off her boney white girl booty to kinky photographers positioned behind her. See, Audrina’s not as stupid as we all think she is…

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Taylor Lautner Takes Boo Taylor Swift For A Ride in his Audi R8!

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 44

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin; Splash News

I guess riding around Taylor Swift’s barely legal bod inside an Audi R8 comes pretty damn close to having sex with her—at least until Taylor Lautner turns 18 in early 2010. Just owning an Audi R8 gives him at least a couple years (making him 19), so I’m pretty sure it’s legal for Taylor L. to have sex with 19 year old girlfriend Taylor S., only if he does it inside the confines of his new car (assuming that’s even possible, considering it’s only a two-seater).

Anyway, these were snapped last night as the 17-year old “New Moon” star took out his girlfriend with the same first name to a peaceful dinner at a Ruth’s Chris Steak House in Beverly Hills. Following a rough day filled with shopping, eating & looking pretty, the couple, a relationship which is coincidently engineered in PR-agency-heaven, proceeded to drive around Beverly Hills inside the $130k sports car.

For all you fans for either Taylor, expect to see these two making plenty more staged public appearances as Taylor Lautner’s new flick’s release date inches closer. The “Twilight” sequel “New Moon” will hit theaters on November 20th. And most importantly, Taylor Lautner turns 18 on Feb. 11, so let’s, hope for his sake, that he’s still dating Taylor Swift at that time. Until then, hand jobs & groping will have to suffice.

Here’s the trailer:



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Australian Sugar Daddies On High Alert! Sophie Monk’s In Town!

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 20

These were snapped earlier today in Sydney, Australia.

Did the lease on her L.A. apartment run out or did she run out of rich & famous men who’ll sleep with her? Any guesses?

But, whatever the case, Sophie Monk dropped into Sydney International Airport earlier today holding an abnormally large & slightly furry handbag. What the fuck happened to her Peta endorsement, anyway?! After being caught inside a KFC last year, I guess the whole campaign for the anti-animal cruelty organization was just a juicy publicity stunt.

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