“Hot Tub Time Machine” DVD Hits Stores TODAY!!! DVD Giveaway!!

LOL!

Yea, I must have REALLY wanted that DVD, hahahaha!

This is more graphic than the version you sent me haha

look at wiggum, giving out hater alerts, thinking it is actually hurting me haha

Told you I used to be a ho bag :D

O.o

hahaha! palpatine!

lmao completly disregard that. copy and paste fail/i hit post comment too fast

http://www.moejackson.com/2010-hot-tub-time-machine-dvd-hits-stores-today-and-dvd-winners-0629

http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff31/januaryweek/young-palpatine.jpg

Out of curiosity, who won this contest?

That bastard was gone in 60 seconds.

im lazy. otherwise i wouldve posted something. ogh well LOL maybe next time when its a movie i dont want to buy to support the people that made it LOL

I once killed a drifter to get an erection.

"Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought this would happen to me, but I swear every word of this story is true ..."

But seriously, that's ... um ... a nice story, Foxy.

Well fuck them, it's as real as it's gonna get.

prude or calling BS, is my guess.

LOL! But it looks like there's a prude here who gave me a hater alert who can't handle the sex!

haha!

Thanks, Foxy! I'm sure the bastards will love Part II

Bahahahhaha Bahahahahahha bhahahahahahha! OMG! That is the funniest thing I've ever heard! How could he thing chapstick was you getting hard? WTF? Did you ever see him again? The nerve.

I don't know about crazy, but I have the most pathetic story. I was doing my undergrad at McGill and you had to take an elevator to get to the stacks. One day there was a power failute and I got stuck in the damn elevator with 8 other people. After about 5 minutes, I felt someone touching my leg. I thought that this would be a good thing, but it was a F*CKING GAY GUY. Since there were so many people I was not in a position to slug the bastard. To make matters worse, I had a Chapstick in my pocket and the guy started rubbing it. Now I know that I need Viagara, but back then all my parts were functioning properly and damn my unit was bigger than a Chapstick. What an insult! In any event, the door finally opened and the guy ran out before I could tell him what a dickhead he was.

Dude, I'll give you details: So I'm hanging out with my ex waiting for his best friend to show up because we had planned to hang out that day. We were watching The Hills Have Eyes because I had never seen it before and it was damn scary and nasty. So anyways, friend shows up finally and sits beside me on the couch, and I had the hots for him since I met him that summer. So we're watching the movie and I'm scared, and I start holding onto him, because you know, that's what girls do when they watch a scary movie with guys, and eventually my legs end up draped over his lap and he's holding my legs and my foot is in his lap and I can feel him starting to get hard, so I'm like:"yes, this is working". Anyways, the movie ends and we decide to all go to this cheap bar that's not too far from my ex's house.

We get there, it's a Saturday night and it's empty, so we basically had the whole place to ourselves. Anyways, we order a pitcher, start drinking, talking, they start telling me stories of their childhood and all the wild things they used to do when they were kids. We order pitcher after pitcher, I'm starting to feel pretty tipsy. We move around the bar, we change tables at one point and my ex excuses himself to go to the bathroom. That's when his friend grabs me out of nowhere and kisses me, he was horny all right. So my ex comes back and has no idea that his friend just kissed me, and we start talking about dirty things, that's when I bring up threesomes. Just the concept. They were like, "yea, I'd do it with two girls, of course, I would never have a threesome with another guy, blah blah blah" and I start telling them how I've always fantasized about it and I start rubbing their thighs under the table, and they both definitely have a hard on at this point. They looked at me and knew I meant business, so they're like, ok, that's it, we're going home NOW!

So we proceed to stumble home, and when we get there we go to the basement, and my ex's brother is there, so he's like"dude, you've got to get out of here now! And his bro was like, "I don't want to, I'm chatting with someone on the net" and my ex is like"I'll buy you a fucking pizza if you get out"LOL! And his bro was like ok. So finally we were alone.

I started kissing them and they were fondling me, then I pushed the best friend on the couch and got down on my knees in front of him and unziped his jeans and started blowing him, meanwhile my ex was behind me, taking off my pants and playing with my pussy, and then he started fucking me, while I was blowing his friend, and I started moaning really loud, and apparently that was the hottest thing ever, because they both were extremely turned on. Then they switched places and the friend started teasing my ass, and then eventually he started fucking it. So I was getting pounded from behind in the ass while eating cock from the front. And it was the hottest thing I have ever done in my life. You think sex with one person is hot, two people is amazing, especially when you're in the middle of the sandwich. Then we all passed out in a drunken naked heap on the couch.

Are there enough details for you now, Moe?

I have a Ben Franklin for anyone who can convince d55 to post her best story. It must be a whopper.

I don't know. Sounds crazy, but the lack of detail as opposed to the other stories is a bit troubling. ha.

It sounds like a porn plot line.

Drunk girl has sex with drunk boyfriend & his drunk friend. ACTION!

I know, I know, I'm such a hater!

Yeah but it seems familiar, i think i may have been there too!

oh and i forgot, i shot that officer in the face with a handgun....that's crazy, right?

Glad you liked it :) lol

Craziest? I ran around my school's campus naked once.

hawhawhaw lol

Thanks! :) Craziest stories deserve to win!

Now, this is the story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the clown of a town called Toronto. In northern Ontario born and raised, on the playground was where I spent most of my days, chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool and all shooting some b-ball outside of school, when a couple of guys who were up to no good started making trouble in my neighborhood, I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, she said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Toronto".

I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said 'fresh' and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say is that this cab was rare, but I thought 'Man forget it' - 'Yo home to Toronto'. I pulled up to the house about seven or eight, and I yelled to the cabbie "Yo homes smell ya later". I looked to my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit all alone as the clown of Toronto.

Just felt like sharing my amazing story. So Moe, when can I expect my DVD?

Awww, that's a cute story, I liked it :)

that movie was awesome

Drugs, Booze & Sex are all played out.

Wait.

Does it have to be your undergrad years or does grad school count, too?

ehhh i went with a moment that wildly amused me, other people brought the drugs and booze and sex stories.

J-Sin, Freep & Roxy.

Maybe The Devil if he throws his hat in the ring.

love your story too, lazydays..

(I was actually tempted to say; "o rly?".. haha)

damn, crackrocks..

that's a nice story..

Stop talking in riddles, woman. Who?

Still a valiant effort.

Ok, I just feel like sharing. This night actually started out pretty shitty. About a year out of high school, my friends and I are at a college bar on Long Island for a ten-year early high school reunion of epic proportions. Outside the bar to be exact. A college I.D. is required for entry, and being the unmotivated fuckhead that I am, I've already dropped out and thrown away my I.D. Anyway, my old high school chums are piling in one by one. I get to the door, and, of course, am immediately turned away. I put up a fight with the bouncer, but to no avail. I was pissed, and slightly embarrassed. Even the half-retarded kid who we just used as a chauffeur got in. I expected my “crew” to at least come back out and make sure I’d have a way home. Nope. Stranded in the middle of nowhere, I somehow work out a ride to a bus stop. “To hell with them!” I say. Well, maybe it wasn’t that dramatic, but I was steaming. I decide to take a more independent approach to things.

A half a bottle of vodka in my stomach and undying teen anger in my heart I decide to hop a train to the city. It was to be my Holden Caulfield night out on the town, minus the prostitute… well, you never know. I head downtown, my sights set on the Comedy Cellar in Greenwich Village. I figure a laugh could do me good. I get in no problem. One of my favorites Dave Attell is to go on later in the set, so I’m stoked. Unfortunately, being the insatiable drunk fuckhead that I am, I decide to order a drink. Transcript: “Can I see your I.D.?” “Sure.” “Get the fuck out.” “Woe is me.” I seriously have the worst fake I.D. money could buy. The picture looks like it was taken on a camera phone. Surprisingly, it’s worked more often than not and I still hang on to it. Well, I head out into the night, disheartened as all fuck, surrounded by New York City night life without a desire to be a part of it.

I head towards a park to wallow in sorrow. On the way, I pass by a bodega, and there’s a homeless man playing guitar. He can’t be much older than 40 and he isn’t exactly the most enthralling performer. But something makes me stop. He doesn’t come off as your typical homeless gent: relatively well dressed and not reeking of his own filth, yet standing on a bunch of cardboard with a bag of cans next to him. When he’s done with his tune, he and his short Asian friend are particularly welcoming, probably because I was the only person who actually stopped to watch and listen. He gets to the usual self-centered rambling of homeless people, and it turns out he used to play background for Elliott Smith. Now, I’m just getting into Elliott at this point in my life, so this man immediately becomes God-like in my eyes. And I’m just drunk and naïve enough, and he looks enough like Sam Coomes for me to believe him. Whether he was telling the truth or not, he turns out to be a really cool dude and after hearing my story decides to take me under his wing for the night.

I’m not sure what Homeless Guitar Man (as he will be referred to from now on) and his Asian sidekick are actually doing there that night, but I don’t really give a shit at that point. He decides to buy me beer and we three head to the park. I’ve never been in a city park at 3 in the morning. So I haven’t realized just how many homeless people there were. Anyway, I’m now content with my six-pack of Budweiser as Homeless Guitar Mans plays for his fellow homeless in the park. Turns out this guy is actually somewhat famous down there. After a couple of songs and a few more tales of his life as a “performer” we head back under the bodega lit street light where Homeless Guitar Man rolls us some cigarettes. As we’re smoking, some Latino acquaintances of his pass by, and offer us a joint left over from their night of dealing. And I’m never one to turn down some weed.

Well, as soon as I know it, the sun starts to come up. And we’re pretty loaded now. We decide it’s time for some breakfast. We walk through the park and it’s only now that I realize where I am: in Washington Square Park with some random homeless dude. I shrug it off and we head towards McDonalds, of course. Well, we finish our meal, I pay of course, our conversation dwindling, and suddenly I realize that Homeless Guitar Man has fallen asleep. I pick his guitar up from off the table and place it at his feet. And I head back home, hoping that it’s not stolen when he wakes up, and that he doesn’t blame it on me. Sorry guys, no prostitute.

Thanks for the encouragement, but I think I lost. Compared to the other stories, this is nowhere near crazy.

damn Samurai, your story makes me crave weed, mcnuggets and beer. nice! so this a few years ago towards the end of high school. it was a friday night and i was hanging out with two male friends who i skated with and two female friends (we all went to the same school). one of our female friends was pretty tall so she'd be able to buy beer at 7-11 without being carded, plus she'd take her dad's car out at night without his permission and none of us had vehicles at this point. most of us were 17 or 18 at the time. so we ended up getting lots of beer and some of that shitty Smirnoff ice. we all got pretty shitfaced by some hills near our houses. i think i was the one who supplied the ganja that night and most of us ended up smoking bowl after bowl. my friend mark gets the brilliant idea of stealing peoples lawn ornaments and it's around 1:30 at night. we all say "fuck yeah, let's do it!!" so we all drunkenly get into the car(the girl that was driving was supposed not drink, but she was probably stoned and buzzin at this point.) we drive to this part of town where none of us lived (this was in like a suburb area) and we start finding nothing but gems: a plastic flamingo, a ceramic turtle, american flags, an entire water hose w/big plactic holder, plenty of little figurines, pots with flowers in them, and a mini-fountain with an angel on top. that one was by far our favorite piece! so as we're driving away with a trunk full of goodies, we (myself and my other two male friends) decide to start throwing beer battles at cars as we were driving. i knew at the time this was pretty fucked up, but fuck it, i was gone at that point. atleast 3 windows got smashed by us. i think we picked really crappy looking cars like a vanilla 70s van, an old civic, etc. we get back to our neighborhood and we all decide to drop off all the ornaments at one of our friends' house. we all liked this girl, but she had one of those old mexican grandmas that was fucking bonkers. she'd wet us with the hose and kick us out all the time. we'd get her back every year by dumping christmas trees after christmas on her door. we'd ring the bell and the tree would fall on whoever answered the door! anyways, we drop off all the ornaments and we even go out of our way to decorate the stuff all nice. this was around 3 in the morning. we end up driving by the end of this road. we kept drinking and smoking for a while and one of my friends falls asleep while the other one starts getting down with the tall girl in the front of the car. i was outside with the other female friend (she was ok looking, but she had a mean ass) and just got a lil david blowie out of it. i could barely stand up-straight, but i do remember it being beyond awesome. once everyone was done we got back in the car (our friend in the backseat was still asleep or atleast he pretended to be while 2 people had sex in front of him) and we all went home. we all agreed to never tell our friend that we did that to her lawn, but i think she found out eventually. oh well, it was totally worth it. that was one of the most hedonistic and retarted nights i had when i was in school. looking back on it now, i'm pretty surprised none of us got arrested and that no one in our school found out about that night.

Ooh, so you took a walk on the brown side of life. Willing to experiment are we?

I knew this would be awesome from the moment I saw the size of it (that's what she said). Brilliant story.

Time for you to spill the beans Alina!

Thanks for sharing, that was entertaining, it sounds like something that would happen in a ,movie or something :)

LOL! No DP, too bad. But there was some backdoor action, most definitely.

LMAO

Who?

During my freshman year of college a friend of a friend invited us to a giant house party. We had to drive a bit to get there and only one of use had a car. So about seven people crammed into one car and I got stuffed in the trunk. So we arrive, I get out of the trunk and some onlooker blurts out a Keanu Reeves "Woah!" upon seeing me exit. I mingle a bit, have some drinks and eventually play some beer pong. after suffering an emasculating defeat to a cute redhead, I scream out "Burn the witch!" That certainly got her attention. So I talk to her for a bit but have to take a piss.

So after scouting the house, I found only two bathrooms. Some inconsiderate asshole was in the powder room taking a nasty ass crap that you could hear through the door so I go to the master bath and take my place in line. In front of me in line was this statuesque willowy blonde who was obviously stoned out of her mind and this bearded ginger dude. Stoned blonde attempts to make conversation with bearded ginger dude but is too out of it to even form complete sentences and randomly mentions basketball. So upon hearing that the bearded ginger dude goes off about how he played in high school and how he considers Dennis Rodman his "nigga." So he goes on this hilarious tangent about how Dennis Rodman is the greatest human being to ever live as he used his amazing ability to rebound to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. About how he rock any getup even wedding dresses, crash any concert, give Eddie Vedder a piggy back ride, etc. So he continued talking as I peed (He was really into ot. It must have lasted a good 20 minutes).

Somehow tall willowy blonde, bearded ginger, the female ginge, bearded ginger's stoner friend, and bearded ginger's stoner friend's gf, end up in the living room taking hits from bearded ginger's stoner friend's eight-way octopus bong. Around this time, a few of the dudes I came with were falling down drunk, so some bitchy cakeface, 4'11 sorority whore drove them back. I mean she was so short she had handicap plates. Unfortunately they took my jacket which had my keys, wallet, and phone in it, stranding me.

As I had a conversation about Nabokov and the League of Extraordinary Gentleman with the stoner couple, bearded ginger dude and ginger chick bond over purple haze induced giggles and disappear after like 15 minutes. So me and the stoner couple decide to watch TV. And low and behold, one of the greatest movie of all time is on: Die Hard. Awesome. Could life be better?

So the high is wearing off and I have to piss again so I get in line behind some cute punky Nordic platinum blonde w/ dyed pink hair. I am continuing to watch Die Hard while in line. Hans first gets off the elevator to the Christmas Party I blurt out "Alan Rickman!" Punky Brewster hears it and instead of thinking I have Tourette's blurts out "I LOVE ALAN RICKMAN!" I turn to her and say "I DO TOO!" like a giggly school girl and she suddenly gives me a hug, spilling the contents of her red plastic cup on me. She apologizes profusely and goes on about Alan Rickman and how sorry she is for spilling her drink on me. So we continue talking about how Alan Rickman's demeanor when it's her turn, she beckons me into the powder room. I oblige. You figure out the rest. So we come out of the powder room and she says she has to leave as she has to work the next day. She offers me her number but I don't have my phone. Whatever.

An impromptu dance party of bros had broken out and so I decided to leave. Unfortunately the designated driver was drunk off his ass holding a bottle of the chick vodka with gold flakes and getting grinded on by some at least 300 pound heifer. We leave him to his fate.

Sso bearded ginger is driving the stoned out of her mind willowly blonde, a friend of mind, and a friend of mine who is a girl, and I to campus. Ginger witch was sound asleep in post-coital, drug induced bliss on bearded's bedasleep. So as the sobered up and hungry bearded ginger Dennis Rodman admirer is driving us to get food, the statuesque willowy blonde suddenly starts talking about bacon. About how she wants to make bacon. She was clearly out of her mind. So she goes on about bacon for around 20 minutes and

Mr. Dennis Rodman is weirded out and just drops us off on campus. Willowly blonde wanders off presumably to make bacon. The friend of mine who is a girl (totally platonic relationship), 2 of her fat friends, and her cute party girl friend decide to go to mcdonalds get,get a huge box of disgusting Chicken McNuggets, go up to her room, and end up all going up to her room to eat McNuggets w/ beer at 5 am and have an impomptu viewing/sing along of The Little Mermaid.

The events of this night are legendary and shrouded in a veil of controlled substances. This is what I remember and am choosing to relate to you here and when legend becomes, fact, print the legend.

"Moe & Jackson will decide top three stories"

3rd person much?