Photo Credit: Jim Cooke

“I know everything there is to know about how to look glam during labor! It’s a bitch, but it’s worth it!”[Celebuzz]

Well, this one should give even the most vociferous anti-birth control loonies out there tremendous amounts of pause: none other than Snooki (yes, the one and only) giving pregnancy fashion advice to Kim Kardashian. If this isn’t the bottom of the barrel, then I say we don’t know bottoms anymore – and we can thank Kim K’s Armenia-sized derriere for that. (Pun intended).

Per her newly minted column at Celebuzz (when did this happen?), Snooki offers such choice mommy-to-be fashion tidbits at the following:

1. First impressions are everything, so when you meet your baby for the first time, you have to look flawless.

2. If your face is already made up when your water breaks, you have plenty of time to do it in the hospital when you’re waiting to dilate. I waited 27 hours, and the whole time, I just put on makeup and watched cartoons.

3. Go for pink or red lips, rather than nudes and remember to keep an extra pair of eyelashes in your purse, just in case your water breaks when you’re not at home.

If this weren’t so unintentionally hilarious, I would have assumed it came from the trashier section of The Onion. What’s next? Paris Hilton offering Kim K acting lessons?!?