Monthly Archives: February 2005

The Sexy 2005 Nightlife Awards

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Quick, how do you make a four-hour-long concert zing by in a flash? Get the best performers of cabaret, jazz, and comedy all on one stage, and give them each five minutes (or thereabouts) to do their thing. At Monday’s (Jan. 31, 2005) Nightlife Awards, a veritable bevy of New York’s finest performers got to strut their stuff and make time fly. [Broadway World]

You guys heard of this thing?

This is one award show I wouldn’t mind hitting up. No bullshit speeches & fashion statements allowed. Only performance, baby!

It sounds like the winners from certain categories are called up to the stage not only to collect their awards, but also to perform a piece from whatever it is they do each weeknight at @ bars & clubs in & around NYC. Tickets are super cheap, as well (we’re talkin’ $250-$75 & $25 extra if you choose to stay for the after party and get wasted w/ the performers!). What else could you ask for, right?

Anyway, check out some hot photos of the cabaret dancers.

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Bai Ugling Redefines Red Carpet Ugliness

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Is she trying to immitate a Steven Tyler in the smile department or what?

This is from The Life Aquatic screening in which Bai Ling has obviously decided to go 80s w/ the body net. I wouldn’t mind rescuing her from this outfit. From her daring sense of style, I get the impression that Bai Ling would be super wild in bed. I’m talking wild, panda-style freaky. Although it would be fun, I’m sure Bai Ling gets around the Hollywood Penis Circuit, so she naturally falls into the “double-bag before sexâ€? category.

From the following photos, you can tell that Robin Williams had a piece of Bai Ling after the IFP Awards last week.

Dude, I’ve heard some shady stories about Robin Williams in the past, but I don’t blame the guy for using his money & fame to get into random panties of exotic, Hollywood beauties. Yes, even Bai Ling, baby!

Check out page two for a full body shot of Bai Ling’s outfit from

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The Mysterious Pepsi Girl: Mandy Fujiko Amano

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Watch her commercial if you haven’t already. [Link 1] [Link 2]

Maxim magazine actually contacted me because of this site. And they were interested in getting an interview with Mandy. So i put them in contact with her people. [That Pepsi Girl Blog]

A lot of noise has been made about this chick & it seems that we might see her in Maxim very soon. As we all know, Maxim doesn’t interview chicks. Maxim pays chicks a little money, takes a few scandalous photos & tells them to go home. After the girl has left their building, they bring their horny creative team into the mix & they are the people who write those lame interviews that read, “I like the way water feels between my legs when I go swimming.”

Ok enough about Maxim. Let’s talk mixed races! Here are ones to look out for when you’re walking through the mall in Calitown:

1. Japanese + White = Almost always super hot.

2. Indian + White = Questionably hot. I’ve seen some uggies in my travels.

3. Latino / South American + White Man = The Jackpot! Potentially one of the hottest combos ever. [Changed from “Spanish + Western” after Steve’s comment below]

4. Native Indian + Whiteman = God have mercy. This kinda falls into the Spanish + Western bracket.

Conclusion: The East will never meet the West—except when sex is involved.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that 95% of the East/West relationships involve white westerner working his mojo on a super hot Asian chick. The Asian man would love to pounce on white meat, but it’s a near impossibility (unless of course, they have a shit load money to their name).

The screen caps from the commercial follow.

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What Does The Pope Want?

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Straight from Gemelli hospital in Rome.

TP (The Pope) is looking very weak these days. He’s even signaling to his throat in an attempt to get his robotic followers prepared for the inevitable. In anticipation of the moment of truth, a lot of ruthless people have made guesses of the day TP will call it quits & take his one-way ticket to heaven. Let’s take a second to confirm the guesses made on The Bastardly.

1. Mine – June 29, 2005
2. Phil – June 23, 2005
3. Raven – April 20, 2005 at 4:19 am or pm, so that @ 4:20 am or pm, he & his friends may light up.

There are many more guesses on Byron’s site, so make sure you bastardly people don’t miss out.

The Gay Oscars & Our Gay Guesses

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BEST ACTOR – As with the Globes, the pity vote will probably be strong, but I really think Don Cheadle should get some props for his work in “Hotel Rwanda.”

1. Don Cheadle in “Hotel Rwanda?” (United Artists in association with Lions Gate Entertainment through MGM Distribution Co.)

2. Johnny Depp in “Finding Neverland?” (Miramax)

3. Leonardo DiCaprio in “The Aviator?” (Miramax, Initial Entertainment Group and Warner Bros.)

4. Clint Eastwood in “Million Dollar Baby?” (Warner Bros.)

5. Jamie Foxx in “Ray?” (Universal)

BEST ACTRESS – I haven’t seen any of these movies, but I hear “Million Dollar Baby” rocked the box-office, so I’ll naturally follow the money with Hillary Swank.

1. Annette Bening in “Being Julia?” (Sony Pictures Classics)

2. Catalina Sandino Moreno in “Maria Full of Grace?” (HBO Films in association with Fine Line Features)

3. Imelda Staunton in “Vera Drake?” (Fine Line Features, Alain Sarde and UK Film Council in association with Inside Track Films)

4. Hilary Swank in “Million Dollar Bab?” (Warner Bros.)

5. Kate Winslet in “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?” (Focus Features)

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Bald Guy. Two Spoons. Usher’s Grammy After Party

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Who is this dude? An exec? Leave a comment or drop us a line if you have any clue. Also, what do the spoons signify?!

Whoever this guy may be, he’s another one of those gifted souls (Jordan Bratman falls into the same category) who knows how to maximize the assets God has bestowed upon him. Apart from being an encouragement to every depressed & insecure bald guy out there with one of those shady wigs, he gives younger guys with tremendous earning potential hope for a future filled with extremely beautiful women!

I’m telling you. The secret to a scandalously fun life in which beautiful women flow as freely as chilled Crystal, all you need is money & a couple connections (connections not always necessary). Study hard, kids!

Anyway, the photos that follow are mostly of cameos of this random dude w/ hot women @ Usher’s Grammy after party.

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Aaron Carter One Step Closer To A Crack O.D.!

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Is weed even a ‘drug’ anymore?!

These pics were taken in the summer of 2003 & later sold to the Enquirer by one of Aaron’s bastard friends. Apparently, Aaron recently told People Mag that he didn’t do drugs, so I’m thinking he quit weed sometime in ’04 & simply isn’t aware of the fact that snorting a dried mixure of meth & crack up his nose twice a day is considered a drug addiction.

What’s the over/under on how long it will take Aaron Carter to call it quits in life & Nick Lachey to ditch Annoying Jessica Simpson (also sleepign w/ the Blow monster) for a hotter chick?

One more funny pic follows.

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Annoying Jessica Simpson’s Crack Habit Revealed

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This was found on Paris’ hacked Sidekick. Jessica should know that sniffing cocaine up her nose will make her lose lots of weight & make her already large boobies look massive….

Quote: Date Sun, 2 Jan 2005 22:28:25 -0800 Show full headers
From
Lindsay Lohan

To Paris
Subject Private

Jessica simpson was just totally doing blow in bathroom @ bar downstairs of shoreclub
-god bless

Quote: Quote: Date Mon, 3 Jan 2005 00:52:46 -0800 Show full headers
From
Lindsay Lohan

To Paris Hilton
Subject Re: Private

Saw her in bathroom w. 6 girls wiping her nose I was in shock and my driver told doc my bodyguard that she was asking for it when she was here 2 months ago! I was lioke no, he was like yes she was and then I saw her and nick fighting and he was looking up her nose and she came out b4 the other girls that she was w.
On Mon, 3 Jan 2005 12:40 am, Paris Hilton wrote:
>How do u know?
>-parishilton
-god bless
lindsaylohan

tsk tsk, Jessica!

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