Ratings – Angelina Jolie

Dear Lord ’O Mighty!

The Stats:
+ 7.48 High raw score b/c she’s probably crazy in bed!

- 1.50 for having bad taste in sleeping w/ & wanting to be w/ bloody Val Kilmer!

+ 1.00 for launching the ‘I want to inject shit into my lips’ industry

+ 0.25 for possessing one great pair of lips.

+ 0.25 for being in the Forbes Top 10 Richest Celebs list w/ a cool $27mil stash

+ 0.15 for being a little on the crazy side (she has a fucking dragon tat on her back & just bought her 3 yr old son a mobile)

- 0.05 for being a little on the kooky side (more positive, than negative).

+ 1.00 UPDATE 10/2/04 – Angelina planning to lead a life w/out superficial stars. No fucking Val!
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Total 8.58 — some flaws drag down the score.

First let me attack the figure…actually, I truly wish I could attack her figure in real life, but sadly, I’ll have to let my lame words do all the attacking. Nothing is wrong w/ the figure, of course (you’ll soon see her naturals exposed in Mr & Mrs Smith alongside Mr. Brad Pitt’s bare ass) except for all that is on the figure. Endless tats are to blame (she has a bloody tiger on her back, for God’s sake).

The obvious plus are her wonderful & much talked about…
Dear Lord!
I could go on for hours talking about these beauties, but I will just allow you to devour the photo rather than bore you with words.

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3 comments
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Moe
Moe

dude, all she needs to do is throw val out the window of one of her high-rise tattoo parlors & she's an automatic 9

Jackson
Jackson

...just look at those lips... imaging them wrapped around your....big toe.

Val Kilmer as Batman...cool

Val Kilmer as blind guy that gets vision back...gay (never saw the movie but looked really fagetty).

yeah....if he keeps up the blind guy, angelina will go downhill.

she needs to get a some partial points for the tattoos...and some for being stacked and packed with an amazing rack with a teeny waist to go along with...