The Bastardly Photos Starring…Mr. Federline, Paris, Olsen Monkeys & Lindsay Lohan

Here we have Britney and Hobo-Genius-Boy (Kevin Federline) walking. It looks like Brit & caramel frap are taking her lottery winner-hubs to the dentist. Aaaw, how sweet. Britney’s AMEX—It’s everywhere Kevin Federline wants to be! [Photo]

I’m thoroughly convinced that Kevin Federline chooses to wear hats only because he is too damn lazy to comb his hair. Once again damn him for being so lucky!! [Photo]

Here’s Paris in her Halloween costume…holding a pumpkin that she can barely pick up. Later Paris put the pumpkin down and broke into one of her catwalks. Haha.

One of the Olsen Monkeys staring down at a package of Twizllers. After a good 2 hours of staring at the twizlers, she managed to start nibbling on one. She nibbled and nibbled, only to later throw itup in the bathroom before leaving the game. aaaaeew! I don’t think we wanna see photos of that, ok.

Lindsay Lohan & one of her male bitches sunbathing—oh the idle life! This guy is like totally playin’ her. Damn him. [Photo 1] [Photo 2] [Photo 3]

Now for those guys who are good w/ this kind of stuff. Are her boobs real?


4 comments
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jacinthe
jacinthe

So sad that I can only write like this in comments. As for when I really need this clear wand lucid writing skills - like on, say, graded papers? HAH.

Moe
Moe

Noodles--haha. funny you noticed the towel chick. one of my co-workers pointed her out and we concluded that she was so turned on by the level of hotness directly adjacent to her that she was forced to exert the energy flowing inside her by biting a folded towel.

"Although, sunbathing without water is very chic, and sunbathing without even the sun is so Euro." haha

Nice mini-essay on Linds' boobs, jacs.

You started w/ your opinion, then restated your opinion with some authority, then gave a couple support phrases to ultimately end with your concluding sentence that wonderfully tied back to your initial opinion. A+!

I think all that grad school writing is getting to your head, man. Get a hold of yourself. I want to see run-ons, misspelled words, and incorrect punctuation---the whole deal!

jacinthe
jacinthe

Yes, her boobs are fake. I refuse to believe that overnight, she went from nothing to ginormous. Plus, in other photos, they somehow manage to remain perky with absolutely no garmental support. They defy gravity. And that is why I am convinced they are fake.

Noodles
Noodles

More questions: (I'm idle.)

1.Why is the girl in Photo3 biting on her towel in that manner. I think someone should talk to her; she's considering drowning herself in the pool. I'm assuming that there is water in the vicinity. Although, sunbathing without water is very chic, and sunbathing without even the sun is so Euro.

2. Are Lohan's freckles real? I can't count the number of times that I've been drawn to a girl by the small, pale brown spots on her face, neck and shoulders, only to find out that it's dust or make-up. Quite a letdown.

Okay, I've fulfilled my comment quota. Send my check please, Moe (and your Britney's AMEX joke was great).